Hello Autumn. What surprises do you have in store?
🍁🍂🍁
9.22.2015
I just lowered the thermostat
Oktoberfest while in bed? Sign me up! Whatever brings me closer to dreams and good things.
9.13.2015
Sweet Caroline, bah bah bahhhh
I'm coasting through the days now. Having nowhere to be is the worst feeling. I thrive on structure and I'm guilty of liking the chaos--to a point. I like being in control of my own destiny but feeling like I am actually needed/wanted and can contribute to a greater cause, will always trump the former. I hope these feelings end soon.
But the good news is that I'll have a companion soon to keep my mind off the turmoil. Meet Caroline! She's my new lab-mix babe, and unbeknownst to her, she'll soon be my therapist/workout buddy/cuddle partner/and my child's playmate. Big job for what will only be a 30 lb dog.
She's finishing up some training at the local prison, but we've already purchased all her essentials as we anxiously wait for graduation day. I've spent only about 45 minutes with her since we signed the adoption papers so I can't report on much. But she has a great temperament and seems to love snuggles, so I think she'll fit in just fine with our family. What's funny is that we went to the shelter with the intention of adopting an elderly dog--our dog didn't get to live to see old age, so we figured we'd provide the best years that we could to one that has. Surprisingly, there were mostly babies at both shelters, so here we are with an 8 month old. As my 2 year old child would say, "I can't wait to get started, mom."
8.22.2015
Matcha Love
This tiny 5.2 oz can of deliciousness was truly refreshing for a sticky summer day. And no bitter after taste. Found it at my local Cost Plus World Market--check it out.
8.13.2015
7.30.2015
July 30
1. My sense of adventure.
2. My husband's sense of adventure. No, the cop won't shoot us for trespassing on the golf course. I hope? I don't even know if the signs apply to you if the barrier isn't even around anymore.
3. Ninja turtle nights. AKA Queen Helene's magic in a tube!
12.11.2014
Lost at sea
I'm so unsure about the decisions I make. I have all my paperwork completed for school, but I can't leave this spot to turn it in. 
I'm watching the fishing vessels head out to sea on a peaceful, brisk morning, but I still can't be content. It's not the caffeine, which I told myself I would not have today. It's something more inside of me. I can't shake this feeling of uneasiness. It's preventing me from moving forward. But I know it's now or never. I'm not getting any younger or any healthier. Sink or swim.
9.02.2014
And the winner is...
ITP (Idiopathic Thrombocytopenia Purpura). After 4 days in the hospital this past week, that is my diagnosis. My immune system's antibodies are attacking my blood platelets which help blood to clot. Without the clotting, you bleed out. I look bruised and battered with my body (mostly my legs) covered in petechia (red, non-blanching spots) and lovely gigantic bruises. Normal platelet counts should be between 150k - 350k. The lowest we saw was 3k, after dropping 6k in 2 days. If I waited any longer, my doctor is certain he would have had a brain hemorrhage on his hands. Walking into the hospital feeling only slightly lethargic, then being thrown into this mess what not what I expected for my Wednesday night. Yet I knew all along something was off from when I first saw the petechia and my gums bleeding.
I never told anyone that I am trying to get into nursing school, took pharmacology and all those fun classes, and that I previously have worked for 2 years in blood testing laboratory. I immediately grasped the situation was worse that I had imagined, but I was able to understand it all. I received a platelet transfusion (IVIG) 5 hours after checking into the ER. I didn't realize it would be a nearly 10 hour process, which is ever so convenient when you're just trying to catch some shuteye and process everything at the same time. I was also put on 50mg of Prednisone, which I've been on since. I was not informed until the day I left the hospital that they saw no initial improvement with the treatments for quite a while. They finally let me go when my levels reached 73.
ITP is an autoimmune disease that is not hereditary (an initial big worry before the diagnosis, as I watched my toddler climb all over the hospital bed playing with the heart monitor cables). It can be acute or chronic and yet the cause isn't exactly known (thus, idiopathic), but women are more likely to have it. Exposure to certain viruses can all also bring about ITP, which I assume would lead to acute cases. I'm still doing my research! My hematologist believes my pregnancy brought it on. Again, still not sure on the facts of that, but I'll work with it. Bottom line: there is no cure. You can go into remission for years and years, or dance around the numbers for life. You watch for the classic symptoms and you avoid those situations that can do some major damage to your body, in fear of bleeding.
I'm writing this after receiving only a handful of hours of sleep thanks to Prednisone. I've been dealing with depression for most of my life, so I'm feeling those side effects even more. As I told my husband, I'm feeling way too much right now. Every emotion under the sun. A week ago I was preparing myself to say goodbye to my dog who is dying of cancer. Just 2 days later, I'm absorbing all I can about ITP, and oddly enough, taking the exact same medication my dog is. His has been helping with his swelling and making him more comfortable. Mine is just driving me to the edge.
I am supposed to continue my treatment with my hematologist outside of the hospital today. I assume, more blood draws and going over the medication. I don't know why but I am nervous about having to report to an oncology/hematology clinic on a regular basis. I don't feel like I'm dying, so I feel like it will be a humbling experience to be surrounded by those who just may be. I can't even begin to tell my own friends about my week. Again, every emotion is being carried in this heavy chest of mine, and I'm still trying to figure out how to process it all. The only thing that I want right now is to hear my daughter's laughter and have the comforter wrapped around me tightly. Once again, I'm playing the waiting game as she's at daycare. I feel like this game will be getting old very quickly.
If you want to learn more about this disease, I've been guided to the Platelet Disorder Support Association (pdsa.org) group, who seem to provide a wealth of information on ITP. Also, September is ITP Awareness Month, so consider donating:
I never told anyone that I am trying to get into nursing school, took pharmacology and all those fun classes, and that I previously have worked for 2 years in blood testing laboratory. I immediately grasped the situation was worse that I had imagined, but I was able to understand it all. I received a platelet transfusion (IVIG) 5 hours after checking into the ER. I didn't realize it would be a nearly 10 hour process, which is ever so convenient when you're just trying to catch some shuteye and process everything at the same time. I was also put on 50mg of Prednisone, which I've been on since. I was not informed until the day I left the hospital that they saw no initial improvement with the treatments for quite a while. They finally let me go when my levels reached 73.
ITP is an autoimmune disease that is not hereditary (an initial big worry before the diagnosis, as I watched my toddler climb all over the hospital bed playing with the heart monitor cables). It can be acute or chronic and yet the cause isn't exactly known (thus, idiopathic), but women are more likely to have it. Exposure to certain viruses can all also bring about ITP, which I assume would lead to acute cases. I'm still doing my research! My hematologist believes my pregnancy brought it on. Again, still not sure on the facts of that, but I'll work with it. Bottom line: there is no cure. You can go into remission for years and years, or dance around the numbers for life. You watch for the classic symptoms and you avoid those situations that can do some major damage to your body, in fear of bleeding.
I'm writing this after receiving only a handful of hours of sleep thanks to Prednisone. I've been dealing with depression for most of my life, so I'm feeling those side effects even more. As I told my husband, I'm feeling way too much right now. Every emotion under the sun. A week ago I was preparing myself to say goodbye to my dog who is dying of cancer. Just 2 days later, I'm absorbing all I can about ITP, and oddly enough, taking the exact same medication my dog is. His has been helping with his swelling and making him more comfortable. Mine is just driving me to the edge.
I am supposed to continue my treatment with my hematologist outside of the hospital today. I assume, more blood draws and going over the medication. I don't know why but I am nervous about having to report to an oncology/hematology clinic on a regular basis. I don't feel like I'm dying, so I feel like it will be a humbling experience to be surrounded by those who just may be. I can't even begin to tell my own friends about my week. Again, every emotion is being carried in this heavy chest of mine, and I'm still trying to figure out how to process it all. The only thing that I want right now is to hear my daughter's laughter and have the comforter wrapped around me tightly. Once again, I'm playing the waiting game as she's at daycare. I feel like this game will be getting old very quickly.
If you want to learn more about this disease, I've been guided to the Platelet Disorder Support Association (pdsa.org) group, who seem to provide a wealth of information on ITP. Also, September is ITP Awareness Month, so consider donating:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)